You Get What You Give

Originally posted May 31, 2012

This blog entry is not giving advice from the standpoint of a medical professional. If you, or someone you know, seems to be struggling with depression, get help immediately.

 With that being said, I’m going to talk about girls. Girls girls girls. Yuck. All I see on Facebook anymore are those pictures that say “Like if you agree” and a bunch of them say things like this: (my personal explanation will follow)

 

  • “See that girl? She looks happy, right? Well really, she’s dying inside. She’s hurt. Tired of the drama. Tired of not being good enough. She doesn’t want to seem weak, so she keeps it all inside. To everyone else, she seems like the happiest person around. If they only knew the truth…”

Okay, first off. That girl probably looks happy because she’s rich. Haha. Okay, just kidding. Anyway. If this is you, GET HELP. Why be depressed about “not being good enough”? If you feel like you aren’t good enough, you should probably seek help, because that’s a sign of depression. Bottling things up is also VERY BAD. Don’t do it. Find SOMEONE to talk to. Just someone who will listen. Seriously. If you feel hurt and torn up inside, talk to somebody. Even if its your dog.

 

  • “Never become “just friends” with someone you used to love, because part of your heart will always love them…”

Wrong. I’ve loved a few people and we are still friends. No, I don’t love them anymore. Your “heart” will not ALWAYS love someone. Mind over matter. Get over it. Your relationship (or even if you didn’t have a relationship with them and you’re still convinced that you loooooved them) was obviously not meant to be or you would be with them.

 

  • “Missing someone + No text from them = worst feeling ever.”

Text them first, dummy! Come on. If you really wanted to talk to them, you would A) Text them first. B) Call them. or C) Suffer the long and agonizing wait until school in the morning to talk to them. Stop feeling bad for yourself. If they aren’t texting you back for who knows what reason, maybe YOU should get over it. For real.

 

  • “I want a boy that will hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous. I want someone who would sing to me at random moments. Someone who is more goofy than romantic. A boy that would throw stuffed animals at me when I’m being dumb. Someone who would bet me kisses that he could beat me at all the old playstation games and then let me win. He’d play with my hair all the time and surprise me with 25 cent rings. But mostly… someone to be my best friend and never break my heart, instead; just always make me smile.”

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, WRONG. You don’t want this. I promise. If you had this, you would find every reason to poke and prod about them not being “mature” and if someone threw a stuffed animal at me when I was acting dumb, you’d better believe I’d get PISSED OFF. As would anyone who is trying to make a point. Bet you kisses? Oh that’s cute. Gag. The end is what gets me. “Just always make me smile.” Okay, here’s the thing. A relationship isn’t going to be fun and games and cuteness all the time. If that’s all it is, then it’s not much of a relationship. Relationships have to grow and evolve to be productive. Growth is made by change. You know what happens when things change? Someone doesn’t like it and an argument ensues.

 

Every single relationship that is worthwhile and meaningful is going to have disagreements, arguments, and fights. If you go about them the CORRECT way, they can be productive. If you go about them in the wrong manner, considering all you want are hugs, kisses, and snuggles the whole relationship and you’re not accepting the fact that PEOPLE CHANGE, then your relationship will most likely fail.

 

  • It also bothers me to see girls who recently got dumped by a guy be soooo upset when it was basically THEIR FAULT. Yeah, ladies, your fault. I know I’ve messed up a couple relationships because it was my fault, but look where I am today. It obviously didn’t kill me. The relationships where the girl picks and prods about everything the guy does. He plays video games too much, he doesn’t talk to me when his friends are over, he doesn’t do what I ask him to, he doesn’t take me out on dates anymore, he doesn’t surprise me, etc. Listen up! It MIGHT be because you’re not noticing all the things he does RIGHT. My husband and I just got into a tiff last week about this. I was basically pointing out all the negatives and not looking at all the things he does that goes unnoticed. He put together a tv stand, cleaned up our room, plugged in my laptop, took out the trash, and many other things, but all I could see was the lemonade that was spilled, the clothes that were out of the basket, and that he didn’t throw away his pop bottle. Yeah, it sounds petty, but it happens. Girls like to look for things to pick about (I’m a girl, so I know firsthand!). Sometimes not intentionally; I wasn’t intentionally looking for something to whine about, but I did. I noticed the things he did, yeah, but I didn’t make a comment about it. A simple “thank you” or “wow, the room looks nice!” would have been all he needed. Guys want to feel appreciated. They do little things that we don’t really notice most of the time, or when we do notice them we think “Oh, good. I won’t have to do that later.” but men need to HEAR that. Tell them thank you. Tell them you appreciate the little things they do, and be specific! If he comes to pick you up for a date and he shaved, tell him you think that he looks nice or thanks for picking you up. Just little things to boost his attitude. You get what you give. So if you give negativity, you’re bound to get it.
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